QUESTION OF THE WEEK
Afraid To Love Again
Years ago l fell in love with a lady who was kind, wonderful, social and poor. l had economic problems too. Under her parents’ pressure and poverty and maybe she found him attractive, she married a rich man. l couldn’t forget her though later l met another lady who I liked very much. We separated because she wanted to be dominant over my family, my friends and me. Now l can’t trust anyone. Perhaps I’m wrong but l usually get disappointed in life. l never meant to hurt anyone but sometimes some people misunderstand me. Thanks to meeting dear friends on the Internet l feel strong and important again. Am l wrong trying to make different friends around the world to keep peace and harmony and to socialize? What should l do to find true love?
Your friend from another continent
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Dear Friend:
This question actually speaks to my column this week, Are We All the Walking Wounded.
You, like many people find they cannot trust again after being hurt. I understand the dynamic well. But if we are not willing to take risks, we will never find rewards. In fact if you are not willing to open your heart, you will only be disappointed when you meet someone who might want that from you. A woman will not wait forever if you cannot love her the way she needs. It takes great courage to open our hearts again, but there is no other way.
Although having friends on the Internet is a great way to be social and feel loved, it does not take the place of a living, breathing woman by your side.
Rather than spending so much time in front of your computer, find passions in real life that include being around others. You may meet someone that shares your interests and a friendship grows into a great love affair. I DO advocate using the Internet to meet woman as well, but make sure you are always looking for women who are looking for the man that YOU are. And Please, no long-distant romances. The Internet is a breeding ground for this practice that can only lead to heartache.
I would suggest that you take a look at this weeks column and work on yourself. Learn to see your value as a man. You are not a victim; do not view yourself as such. Let go of the past and know that each day brings many surprises with it. If your heart is open and pure, I believe you will find your lovely woman.
It is part of the human condition to want to bond with another on an intimate level. There is no greater pleasure or gift than to find true love. We all search for it.
It is good to keep your eyes open and look for those red flags when meeting new women. They usually show up quickly and then you can move away and look elsewhere.
I wish you all good things. I can tell you are a good man and know you will find love when you are ready and willing to take that plunge.
In love and light, alice
